Lecture Mode
by Random Inspired
Summary: Artemis tries to explain to Holly how the Opals are possible. Holly accidentally lets something slip and chaos ensues. Rated for a kiss. Oneshot A/H R&R please


Well, this is my fic. Hooray! _Please_ review after you read! I really do enjoy reading them. My second fic on this site! YAY!! I've been a' lurking around in the AF fandom, as well as Warriors (where my first fic is.), and the Bartimaeus Trilogy. Anyway, enough about me, on with the disclaimer!

Disclaimer:

Me: Yes, I own all. Including AF, all the characters, and my friend's dignity!

Lawyers: *Crack knuckles*

Me: Uhhh, *cough cough* hehe, umm. Ok, I don't own all, or AF, or the characters. But I do own my friends dignity, however…

Ms. Marvin: I think you should stop right there Kaitlyn.

Me: Ok, fine. I also own the plot! YEAH!

Mary: Aren't you going to mention me? Your muse?

Me: Ok, fine Mary. *Eye roll* this was inspired by a real conversation between Mary, and a guy in the class. They just didn't -*SPOILERSPOILER*- Mary just said "Jake turned me on-" and got cut off. But she was going to say "Turned me on to play-doh." Or something…

Mary: Clay. It was clay.

Me: Whatever, this disclaimer is getting too long. I'm going to cut it off no-

**Lecture Mode **

_Fowl manor, Ireland_

"Oh, so you mean- Wait, what _do_ you mean?" Asked Holly. After listening to an 'explanation' about what was going on with Opal A, and Opal B, and how it was physically possible. Holly was just _more_ confused now, and judging from the lack of sound coming from the O.P. Booth (Foaly had her on speaker phone so he didn't have to brief the rest of the LEP later.) everyone else was just as confused as she was. Or they were playing a mudman video game. But they where probably confused.

_OP Booth, Haven_

"Yeah! Go Trouble! The crowd is going wild!"

"Maybe we should get off Guitar Hero, and listen to Fowl."

"SHUT UP EVERYONE! WE'RE GOING OFF MUTE IN… THREE… TWO… ONE!"

It was quite.

_Fowl Manor, Ireland_

"Ok Holly, one more time-" And then Artemis went rambling on again, at full throttle lecture mode.

"Opps, I turned him on." Holly muttered, under her breath. But unfortunately for her, the mikes were whisper sensitive. Their was a stifled giggle, and then came the deafeningly loud wave of laughter, as the other fairies caught on.

"I MEANT I TURNED HIM ON TO LECTURE MODE!!! _LECTURE MODE!!!_ NOT THAT I TURNED HIM ON YOU SICK MINDED IDIOTS!!!"

Artemis started blushing, with colour and speed that would rival Roots. At that, the unthinkable happened. The laughing got louder. **(A/N: Got you their, didn't I?)**

_OP Booth, Haven_

"Artemis and Holly, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, first comes love, then comes marriage-"

"I'll bet you three months paycheck that she wouldn't kiss him right now!"

"You're on!"

"-then comes Fowl with a baby carriage!"

_Fowl Manor, Ireland_

Holly was in shock. Chix had just bet that she wouldn't kiss Artemis, and Trouble, her commanding officer Trouble Kelp, had just taken the bet.

Then an idea and a thought popped into her mind that quickly brought her back out of shock. The thought was that Trouble must think she _would_ kiss Artemis. That thought scared her a bit. The idea she had was to cost Chix three months paycheck.

"Pretend you're coming to kiss me." She mouthed to Artemis. She could tell that, if a camera had not been pointed right at them, he would have looked at her quizzically. "Just do it." She mouthed, and stuck out her tongue, to show that in no way, shape, or form did this mean she loved him. **(A/N: Remember, Artemis can only hear Holly's side of the conversation, so this would be a bit weird for him. Once you're done reading the story, go back and look at only what Holly says aloud (not muttering under her breath either.) Yeah, be pretty weird, wouldn't it?)**

The only reason Holly even considered this was because she wasn't very fond of Chix, (something about being hit on, when you don't _want_ to be hit on.) So at the chance to coast him three months worth of his paycheck, she practically jumped for joy.

While she had been thinking of her motives, Artemis had come closer, now they where about a foot apart, and he was looking deep into her eyes, making it as dramatic as possible. He was a good actor; she could almost see real love in his eyes. Now that they were barely an inch apart, she closed her eyes, blocking off the view from her iris cam, rendering all watchers blind.

"Holly, we can see you're not kissing him," Said Foaly in a slightly bored voice, "you forgot you helmet cam. Plus, the pleasure readout on your suit isn't anywhere _near_ high enough!"

But then, she felt something warm and soft on her lips. Her eyes flew open, discovering Artemis kissing her. She could feel her thoughts slowing down to a crawl. Her last thought before rationality left her altogether was, _eat your heart out Chix, beaten out by a mudman._ Then her heart rate slowed, and she kissed back.

And that is how Chix lost three months paycheck to his boss, and how the two most unlikely people (or fairies) in the world (or under it) to get together, did.

YAY! All done! That was a lot of fun to write, and was about 892 words long! I'm on this huge writing bout, and this is likely the first of very many in the next two days, because it's FRIDAY TODAY!! Sorry. Please click the pretty green button down there, and leave a comment. Loved it? Hated it? Your cat is on top of you and she's so fat she's squishing you flat? Let me know! BTW, the whole *SPOILERSPOILER* thing was they didn't kiss. Just thought you might want to know, I'd rather type a sentence more then to leave you all wondering what on earth the spoiler thing was about. Cheers!


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